BlackHawk Log
Meadow 3, 802

As I reflect over the last few days I have to wonder how my perception of life seems to have changed. The Beltane celebration gave me a new perspective on the vastness and importance of our daily decisions. All my life I have focused on the short term goal not realizing that it is these chooses that weave the future, and that there is a pattern to these seemingly insignificants events. As a child there were never any consequences to my actions and it is this that I can see spawned my exile. While in the wilderness it was just the daily needs to survive that drove me from day to day. Once at the Guild it was study and focusing on training and accomplishing the next task or assignment. I looked forward toward adventuring as a way to achieve the respect of my family and friends and it was something that I could feel comfortable with. For I looked at it the only way I knew how, as short job to job “adventures” feeling only the gold in my pocket and looking forward only to the next assignment. When I look back at the words of my companions, I can see why Raven and Stephen keep questioning my motivations. I can now see that with short-term goals you can never achieve fulfillment in life. The idea that all things affect all others is not strange to me, but that I am part of it somehow is. In the past I have always seen the way nature and its creatures are intertwined but I felt I was always an observer to this balance. But with the enhanced life force that I first encountered on the Isle of the Gods I saw so much more. I saw a power that could be tapped for magic and spiritual uses, an aether that flows around us. But still it was something to draw upon not to share in.

My first sense of a union with this aether occurred with the visualization of the knot our souls where in as we occupied each other’s body. This time was difficult for me, as I know it was for all of us, but for me it was the first time in my life my personal actions greatly affected others. Not just acting as a protector against a common foe but the idea that my spirit could affect others in a way I could never have foreseen.

But it was during the Beltine celebration I, for the first time felt a spiritual power. A power that was focused here by Stephen, Raven, and all the others who added their essence to invite the manifestation of the Lady and Lord we witnessed.

I felt as if a wave of cleansing light past through me. I don’t understand how but I know now that we are meant for something greater than to just carry on the Fox adventuring legacy. We somehow have been chosen for a higher calling. It scares me and I don’t know how to accept these ideas into my heart. I started by pledging to each member of the Winged Fox in both words and a silent visual oath never to question their sincerity and to put the good of the party above my own. I know we all have separate paths to follow but for now we share but one.

As we now leave Puddleby I feel the loss of the heightened life force that was so important to my magical awakening. I know now it exists and even with its subtle presents I am able to share in it. This time of learning I will never forget and the gifts I have received both in material and spirit I will carry with me always. The material gift I refer to is the Uli flower, a gift form the Gods themselves. For I may never know its earthly purposes but for me it will be a talisman to bring my memories back to this time and to help me focus on the greater good.