I feel that I must record my thoughts. My brain is slightly less addled now that we are through the gate with our prize, but only just. The Chaos Bazaar is an intriguing and awe inspiring place. Would that we could have wandered about! I can only imagine the wonderous things we might have found. Alas, we had little time to explore, worried as we were that we would be trapped and have to spend a year there. I don't doubt that we could have found things to occupy us for that long, but there is concern of meeting one's self. Still, what an assortment of creatures, all shopping and having a grand time of it. The edges of the place seemed ready to come apart at any moment. It was most disconcerting.

Once we were back in the garden, I began to feel the strain of the last few weeks more acutely. Stephen noticed and attempted to comfort me, but I found myself angry with him. Angry with Stephen! Can you believe it? I asked him if he thought that the vision he had seen might have been us fighting our doubles, and he shrugged and said maybe. I guess I was hoping for some encouragement, nay, even a lie form him. But Stephen is Stephen and could only recite his assessment that whether it was or wasn't, it didn't matter, for the path could have turned. Quite possibly true, but all of his platitudes were as ashes in my mouth. What does he know of the pain in my heart? What does he know of my fear, he who seems to feel none? I only wished for reassurance. He could not provide it, even knowing how much I longed for it. I sat and an ill humour overcame me. The more I thought, the angrier I became and I finally left, to prevent myself from saying something I might regret. My darling Lia followed me, and spoke to me kindly. I told her how frightened I was by Stephen's vision on the high seat, that I feared some evil glamour might come upon me and I would do those I loved best, harm, even after all this time. I told her that I wished he had never deigned to sit upon it. She said,

"Dearest, perhaps the evil glamour was cast upon Stephen. Does it not seem odd that he should -- knowing your grief -- say words that tear the wounds open and plant seeds of doubt within you? Who knows what power was speaking thru Stephen that day? It may be that there will never be such a betrayal by you -- but that you will still be rendered helpless by your false fear of it, and thereby give Darkness free reign!

I also wish that Stephen had not sat upon that seat, or said the words that he did! But my wishes will not make it otherwise, so I must entreat you to turn aside from this dark vision and seek the path of your True Heart."

She smiled at me then, and took my hand.

"Come! Let us retire to that bower over there and remind each other why we should be married sooner rather than later..."

We spent a happy hour in each other's arms, which did much to soothe my temper. I had just dropped off to sleep when I heard my Mother singing. No, it was Stephen, singing a song my mother used to sing for me at bedtime. I hadn't thought of it in years. Lia seemed surprised at first when I began to sing along, but then I saw a look of understanding come across her face and she snuggled into my arms as I sang. Ah, it is hard to stay angry at my cousin for long. Sometimes the light doesn't recognize the darkness, but the dark ever recognizes the light.