Bliss. How confusing that a place, whose name is synonymous with happiness, should separate me from she who brings me the most joy. I had expected to feel relieved to be here and now I long to be anywhere else. Even "Wanderland", as terrible as it was, was better, for we were the masters of our own fates, making our own mistakes and decisions. I feel as though I am in the house of my father again, playing the obsequious worm, yes sir, no sir, shall I lick your boots sir?

What little I saw of the city outside of the Guild walls looked beautiful beyond my imaginings. I always thought Uncle Max must have romanticized the place, but now that I see it with my own eyes, I understand. It is a white city, on the bluest of seas. I have no doubt that it is filled with art as I have seen statuary and paintings already that rival anything I ever saw in Ardania. I long to walk those streets an anonymous stranger, to sit and draw the strange buildings and to stand by that blue sea with my lady...

Yet here I am, locked away in the bowels of a fortress, wondering what kind of ruin we have brought with us into these hallowed halls. Stephen bears a huge burden, Sir Janos, the Guild Guard Commander, told him that he feared what Stephen brought more than anything that had ever been here in the guild before. Stephen blanched at that. I believe he knows in his heart of hearts how important it is that he is the new Taoiseach, but he doesn't allow himself to consider the implications too much. That this kind of responsibility should fall on one with such a sunny countenance is proof again to me that the Gods are capricious and thoughtless. I hope Sister Fara never finds out I said that, she would be furious. I'm not sure why I care what she thinks. It rankles me that I care so much what all of these authorities think, General Russell makes me squirm and I can hardly stand to be in the same room with Sir Janos for fear he look at me and berate me. He has nothing to berate me for, really, but one of them looks at me and I fall apart. I must get control of this problem before I meet Lia's family. I don't want them to think I'm some kind of village idiot that she picked up somewhere.

Raven and Blackhawk are showing the strain of being indoors. It must be very difficult for them to be so cut off from nature, although Raven's serenity is seldom ruffled. Jotork is stoic as always, even though he seems to be the only elf in this whole huge stronghold. Jeck is sticking close to me, dear friend that he is, I'm sure he senses how insecure and lonely I feel. It has been a short time since Lia and I found each other, but I must say that it is not nearly so comfortable for me to be miserable as it was only a short while ago. I felt as if I had come out of a dark cave and into the light, but here I am, back in a cave again, and who knows for how long? The Guild Masters were certainly rattled by Stephen's story of the Winged Foxes ordeal. What shall they do, I wonder? What shall any of us do?

I miss Lia. Her hair smells like an orchard in full bloom, and I long to bury my face in it and forget all of these worries for a time. I wonder how her homecoming was? I hope I will see her tomorrow, I'm not sure how long I can live without her, I feel like a plant withering without rain.