27th Meadow, 802

I can't sleep, I dropped off for a few hours, but I am beside myself with worry. Lia sent word that she had an awful row with her mother and has gone on ahead of us toward the Wind Shrine. She said something about my not trying to contact her, but I was stupid and thought perhaps an apprentice could get her a message without her mother finding out. I wonder if the woman is simply very protective of Lia, which is understandable, or if she is just a shrew. I suppose it would be bad form to ask.

I haven't been so afraid since the shipwreck. The idea of losing my love so soon after finding her is beyond imagining. If I lose her due to my own stupidity, so much the worse. I am so foolish, so very foolish. Raven volunteered to go and find Lia, she went in the shape of an owl with my note tied to her leg. Now I fear for her safety as well, and if any harm should befall her in the effort to help me, I will never forgive myself. I should have gone off on my own in the dark of night and spared my friends the trouble of dealing with me, but they are loyal comrades and would just follow.

(he paces, wringing his hands, then sits back down.)

The others would catch me if I try to leave now. I'm packed and ready to leave as soon as everyone else is up. I wonder if Lia is in danger from the blackcloaks? When Father Lodhri said that there were flying monsters like Wyverns on the trail, I thought I would come undone. Would fate be so cruel as to take away another love, at the jaws of another monster? I can't bear to think of it.

(he stands and paces again, picks up his sword, does a quick drill with it, picks up his quarterstaff, does a quick drill with it and then repeats both. He is just about to go through the process a third time when he sees Blackhawk in the doorway. Stephen is up too, probably he couldn't sleep with Jaden banging around in the common room. He writes)

More later.

(and stuffs his journal into his pack, eagerly heading towards the door. "Are we ready then?" he asks.)