23rd of Blossom, 801

I find myself in the unusual predicament of being in my cousin Stephen's body... I have spent most of my life wondering how it would feel to inhabit this glorious form, but now that it has happened, I am strangely disappointed. Stephen's handsome visage now appears sad and lifeless when I look into a pool of water or a shaving mirror. The eyes that gaze back at me, though his color and shape, seem to be my own, melancholy and accusatory. Could it be that for all these years, the ugliness I percieved when I looked at myself came from inside?

Even stranger, Lia, the maiden I long for, is now inhabiting my body. I try not to stare, for I know it would make her uncomfortable, but with her inside, it seems strong, graceful, and even with the scars left by the dragon,quite beautiful. Is it her soul that is radiating from the form? Indeed if my face were truly ugly, could she bring such beauty to it? Or am I looking through the eyes of love, knowing that she's in there?

I am actually missing my own face and form, I feel graceless and weak, and it is taking time to sort out how to move, fight and live. We had a battle with a group of thieves a while ago, and while I was able to fight magickally pretty well, I felt the loss of my familiar strength. The damage I did when I connected with one of the thieves semed much less than it should have been, considering the force of the blow. Gods and Angels, how have we come to this fate? And how shall we become our selves again?

I promise one thing, if and when we regain our true forms, I am going to tell Lia I love her. If I am thwarted, at least I'll know where I stand. I see her body, filled with Jotork's elvin soul, and it is still lovely. But I see her soul, her strength, intellect and resolve in my body, and I realize it is love, not lust, that drives my feelings for her. What an irony that Umbrion's cruel trick should bring me such clarity about my self, and how I feel about the others. Superficially, we all look the same, but look closer... Raven's soulful eyes gaze out of Blackhawk's face. Blackhawk's wary stance stiffens Raven's catlike form. Stephen's charm warms Jotork's usually staid and intense posture. I feel great love for all of the members of the company, who have stood by me on this most turbulent and unpredictable of journies. I only hope that I can serve them half as well as they serve me.