Moonday, Harvest 12, 802 AR

What a remarkable place. So unlike Ardania. I would have never have expected to find a place like this anywhere there. But, the sound of the surf and the comfort of this tree give me some of the peace and tranquility I need to understand exactly what it is that I feel.

How easily my thoughts drift back to the caress and the kiss of the Guardians. Is it still the residual affects of magic? Or is it a private longing in my heart and soul to accept their invitations? There is so much for me here that I find it hard to believe I really want to join them. But, if that were true, why do I feel this longing? If magic was involved, did I not shake it off? Or is it more subtle than that? I know not.

How easily it started. The Guardian's embrace when travelling from the Ancient Forest to Turlough. At the time, I thought little of it. The Guardian's greeting to me. Perhaps in appreciation for my song? And it certainly wasn't unwelcome.

But that was nothing compared to the Guardian upon this isle. I certainly did not expect one of the Guardians to manifest like that! Beauty and grace and a primal desire emanating from her core being. Intoxicating. It wasn't until later that I realized that she was at least two feet taller than I. And then that caress. That feathery touch upon my cheek. The burning I felt. Not of pain, but of unkindled desire. A flurry of images flooding into my mind. So much that I am still sorting it out. And the faintest whisper, telling me that instead of passing through, I should just stop. Take my leave of this world for a time. Relax. Play my music and sing my songs. Her friends would listen and appreciate the music. There was even the implication that I could play at a Feast. That I could compete with others. So many things that passed to me in that one caress.

But, I stayed, didn't I? We passed through the Crossroad and I did not try to linger. I did not succumb to that temptation. So, why do I keep feeling that caress? Why will my cheek suddenly burn as it did when she touched me? Is it some sort of magic that she wields? Or is it the fading memories from books read in my childhood? Snippets quickly read from forbidden tomes that gave me the briefest release in Ardania. "Fairy Tales" Lady Gilda would say with such disdain. Stories in which men and women were taken to wonderous places to revel and relax. Definitely not polite conversation in Ardania. Do I feel this longing because I want to find out if those tales are real? Do I resist the temptation out of fear?

The Guardian on the Icy Ridge was a different story entirely! She wasn't going to try a subtle seduction. She was going for a physical abduction. Though she was fast, I was still able to resist her pull with all my might. But, it was not enough was it? I think she began to pull me into another part of the Backroads. And again, a flood of images. Similar, but slightly different. Perhaps she had even communicated with the other Guardian. Maybe she had some idea what type of thing worked the best. This time, the definite image of a beautiful glade, decorated as for a feast. I admit that I was intrigued. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I could sense everyone else entering the Crossroad. Nearly passing me by. Concern raising in my mind that they would pass through and I would remain. Then, I felt the tug of the rope. The Guardian grabbed me again. I think she must have sensed my trepidation. Misunderstanding the cause of my departure, she sought to seduce me. That kiss! Dreamlike and pleasant. I didn't even realize I was covered in ice until Raven started breaking it off me. Thankfully, she had cast a protective spell on me earlier that day.

Still, in the middle of the night I could still feel that kiss. Chilling me to the bone. Some might think it an indication of her spite. But, I do not think that was the intent. She wanted me to stay and was trying a different tactic. It wouldn't even occur to her that it could be harmful to me. Though, when Raven embraced me before we crossed this morning, there was a great deal of frustration. Jealousy? Perhaps, I am not sure. Maybe more that she didn't want to lose to a mortal woman. In any event, I am thankful for Raven's assistance.

So, am I still under the affects of Faerie magic? Is that the sole explanation for this longing I feel. To some degree, I believe it is. Even now, under this canopy of leaves and flowers, my desire to join them wanes. But, I think it is not the full answer, the complete reason. My curiosity does pull me in that direction. Though, it does not have much strength. There is too much here for me. I might want to visit the Realm of the Faerie someday. But, I will try to do so on my terms. Now, I feel much better. Now, it is time to head back to the camp and reaffirm my reasons for staying here.